hey again

it’s been a while, hasn’t it? It’s like a year or so that this blog is not updated.
Frankly, my laziness does prevent me to update this blog more regularly.Another thing
is, I have another blog, photography blog. Yeah, this year, I have another hobby. I bought camera
and then lenses and then tripod, and may be next I will buy filters. I was soo into it.
But now, I try to be more flexible and balanced, so I decided to continue writing on this blog.

My life has been great so far.  Hey, did I tell you that my life is great? No, I lied. Actually, not really great.
Looking back, there so many things in my life that I am dissatisfied with. But overall is OK, you know, good here,
bad there, worse here, better there. Life is like that. My friend told me that I need to be more gratefull to
everything I got. I guess he is right. Maybe I am just a sinner, less satisfied with what God has bestowed upon me.

My career is so-so this last year. However, I feel so demotivated lately. Things change. In fact, too many things changed in
my department, and frankly I hate it. I already came to the point that I don’t really care anymore
about anything when it comes to work. My job is to get my task done whatsoever. I had a bad feeling that my job is unfair to me.
Well maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right. But now I don’t really care whether it is unfair or not. if it is unfair then so what?
To see it in a wide horizon, life is unfair.
But it’s still good though. so lIke those folks said, we don’t give a sh*t.
For this reason, I am really looking forward for another chance or oppurtunity ahead. Really..:)

One thing leads to another. The feeling of less motivated leads me to some kind of jerk person lately. I know, I behave so badly.
It shouldn’t be this way, really. Just give me an apology for being such a jerk. I was so emotional that sometimes business can be so personal.
It is not right, I really know that. I really want to fix this. But hey, My priority ruined, my life ruined, people also should understand that.

Other than those bad things I mentioned, life is good.

Ready for a change

During my vacation time, I used to spend some time to contemplate, view and revisit my plan, my expectation and such. I asked myself during the moment why some are failed, why some didn’t come up as planned and how to improve kinda questions. I call it quarterly evaluation and the result is some kind of quarterly resolution instead of yearly resolution on new years. So here are list of things I really wish to start doing or simply try to improve within the next three to four months. I tried to make it specific, measurable, reasonable within time allotted. Hopefully will make it though

1. Playing guitar

I want to learn to play guitar..at least acoustic guitar

Why?

Generally speaking all human beings love music. Like most people, I like music. However, what I did so far with music is passively listening. It just popped up my mind that instead of passive listening, I should start to play it just for fun and well hopefully relieving my stress.

Why guitar? Well, no good reason. I just found an acoustic guitar with no owner hidden under my bed. No owner, so turns out to be mine . Maybe it’s a good sign that learning to play guitar is a start of doing something good. Hopefully…

2. Programming

I want to gather all scattered pieces of my programming skills and perhaps develop simple programs when free time

Why?

As far as I am concerned, my programming skills must be below average of my classmates now. It saddened me, but turns out to be a hard fact I should be tackled. I rarely wrote any programs in my workplace since my job description doesn’t require me to do so. I did however, develop necessary SQL query for data analysis or develop simple macro VB for some cases, but anyone walking on earth without bachelor degree in informatics can develop SQL query or VB scripts – I supposed. Don’t ask me what version of java currently in, the last Java I used was the version of 1.5. don’t ask me about .NET thing, I have no idea about the latest update. I realize that I missed those talks, chores, cheers of programmers found a way in doing something *lebay, haha*

3. IT interest update

I want to update my knowledge in IT especially my interests (mobile technology, wireless and such). I did love these topics once when I was in college.

Why?

Well, it is quite simple! Information technology is in such highly evolving era. New things found, developed, researched. Unluckily, it seems that ultimately in these two years, I never seriously update my knowledge and doing some deep research in these topics, – things that I did unpaid when I was in college-

Don’t ask me mobile technology topics now, cause I believe if I involved in such discussions, people will stare at me and spell the words like “what years are you living?, “are you coming from stone age or something””. I know I know I know…it saddened me, but that is the truth anyway. So why bother..

4. Sports

I consider to seriously doing some sports: swimming, soccer, badminton and last but not least –going to gym- ha-ha

Why?

I did swimming on weekend, playing soccer sometimes, but I know those are not sufficient to make myself stay in shape, haha. No, actually it is not the best reason. I just want to keep fresh and stay healthy. Given abundant amount of free time in jobsite with so predictable-nowhere-else-togo, going to gym and doing sports are good ways to waste your time wisely.

5. Getting closer to God

Frankly, my relation to God has been so-so. When I went home few days ago and my father ask me some serious religious questions, I felt like a sinner. Well, I am [was] a sinner, it saddened me even more. My father gave me message like those found in tombo ati song…ooo, he is so my-father..Here is like what he said to me:

“remedies to the soul” – taken from wikipedia

Remedies of heart, there are five of it

the First, read Quran and understand its meaning

the Second, prayer at night, do it

the Third, make your companion a pious person

the Fourth, keep your stomach hungry (i.e fasting regularly)

the Fifth, remember your Lord at night constantly

One of it, anyone who can do it

may Allah almighty fulfill his wish

I guess I [should be] am ready for a change, one step at a time..yuk,,marii…

delving into AWA

Well, obviously now I am delving into AWA. Two weeks to go to what has been planned for my GMAT test, and yet I am just opening AWA section. poor mee….I am not sure..However, after studying for a while for this analysis of issue and analysis of argument, I began to grasp some pattern to get good score.  In order to get a good score, I promise myself to at least compose one analysis of issue and another analysis of argument each day forward. Sounds promising though, I am bored, demotivated but still dealing with this thing.

Anyway, the excerpt below is one of my essay for analysis of argument. Not sure though about the score, but I compose the essay in approximately time alloted:

Problem

The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery:

“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

My reasoning:

1. Cause and effect relationships falling revenues mainly caused by delays in manufacturing
2. Sufficient necessary relationships that purchasing should know the properties of metals.
3. Necessary relationship that the company should move the purchasing manager to sales department and bring in scientist from research division to be manager of the purchasing department

My Essay:

It can be concluded from the reports that in order to prevent further falling revenues, the company should move its purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in someone from research division to be manager of purchasing manager. The author of the report bases this conclusion on several facts including the fact that the company experiencing revenue falling coincides with delays in manufacturing and the fact that current manager has little knowledge of properties of metals and good in general business, psychology, and sociology. However, the argument relies on a series of unproven assumption and is unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the argument relies on an unproven cause and effect relationships between the current falling of revenues with delays of manufacturing. The author fails to acknowledge other possible means necessary and contribute to the falling of the revenues. It can be external factors that the market of heavy metal equipment is actually falling and has nothing to do with its delays in manufacturing. In short, until the speakers ruled out other factor responsible for the success of the corporations, I simply can’t accept the recommendation.

Secondly, the argument relies on unproven assumption that in order to succeed as a purchasing manager in heavy metal companies, one should have sufficient knowledge in properties of metals. The author neglects to substantiate his assumption that the knowledge of mining metals would suffice to the success as a purchasing manager. Common sense tells me that in order to succeed as a purchasing manager, one also should have knowledge about the market, prices of goods. In short, until the author of the reports doesn’t substantiate his view with premises that knowledge in metals properties would suffice, I can’t simply accept the recommendation.

Thirdly, the argument also relies on an assumption that scientist from research department may have all skills necessary required to be a good purchasing manager. Even if we consider that the only thing needed by a good purchasing manager is knowledge in metal properties, it supplies no evidence whatsoever that particular people coming from research department will have the sufficient knowledge for the position. It could be that the one chosen from research department also has less knowledge in metal properties and good in engineering, for example or good in general management.

As a final analysis, the argument is dubious one that relies on a series of unproven assumption – about the confusing cause and effect relationships and relying on sufficient condition assumption -. As a result, without the additional information that validates all the assumption mentioned above, I find that the argument unconvincing at best.

my childhood dream

I was watching someone playing violin gracefully when my flash of my childhood memory came by. In certain moment of my childhood, I dream to be a good damn professional violin player. No good reason, unless that the violin has strange yet beautiful melody . However, I didn’t have courage to ask my parents buy me a new one nor courage to ask them to get me a tutor. They had been working so hard, and as a child I didn’t want to be selfish. I kept saying that one day, when I can stand on my own, I will reward myself and buy a new one. The dream then buried, forgotten waiting to be unleashed. Until now, the memory came by.

Maybe it’s a good thing to have a new violin. It’s my childhood dream anyway. I can’t even play it nor have interest to learn it now. Surely my vision of me is very much different with that when I was a kid. I look at the picture of myself on mirror, there is no reflection my childhood dream anymore. Those pictures isn’t me. or is it?

Remember the cure – Pictures of You:

“I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you, That I almost believe that the pictures are all I could feel…”

Fulfilling my childhood dream, how important is it now? Is it actually our real ideal dream and our current dream is dream under constraints and circumstances? Is it not?

embrace yourself

One quality I always admire from certain people is their ability to embrace themselves. Being grateful with what already have and at the same time pursuing their dreams. They are happy with the process.

I am not that kind of people. I am a result oriented guy, who sometimes feel the world not enough for himself.

Are we that old?

Yesterday I opened personal data in my laptop to find family card document. I need to fill out some form and it turns out that I need to fill sibling information including the age. But I never realize one thing. My brother, the eldest one,  currently is forty something. Hmm, that seems old enough. Time pass..I never realize him to be that old. But that’s the truth anyway..

If my brother that old enough, you may wonder how old my father and mother. And the flash of my early childhood memory came across my mind. We don’t live here forever, that’s an undisputable truth. Yet, we never realize the fact.

public lies

No, maybe not  pure lies. Let’s call it hiden lies behind  some truth.

We know that 2009 is the year of democracy for Indonesia as this year, we are going to held general election both legislative and presidency. We are currently on the stage of political campaign where some of major political party appears every now and then. They surely try to collect votes. Through televesion, advertisement, program selling, they want to differentiate one another, something like product differentiation on businesess.

However, I feel not comfortable to some political advertisement presented. To name a few, the advertisement sponsored by democratic party, the major supporter for SBY, the current president. They try to collect votes by saying that the government already conduct significant improvement thorough period of presidency. It goes like this:

1. Fuel prices go down 3 times
2. No longer dependent to IMF
3. Solve the Aceh problem?
   and the list goes on..

What I see so far, those things are not achievement. They merely conditions implied by coincidence.

global financial crisis drives oil prices to its bottom level in five years. Some months ago, oil prices reached US$140. And now, it records its lowest level at US$35. So, it really makes sense if the fuel prices should go down as well. After all, the oil price is cheap.

We are no longer dependent to IMF. Well, it doesn’t mean we are not dependent to other capitalist financial institution. And also it doesn’t mean we are growing economically stronger than before. We have no further obligation to pay to IMF, but it doesn’t simply because we have paid all the money. We’re just lucky enough to know that all the obligation has been eliminated. We’re just so lucky

Aceh problem? Nobody, nothing, no one can solve it prior to aceh tsunami.

Still call  it achievement? I call it luck.

integrity

it is something called integrity. So long never heard the word. When he said to me, you may loose all things in life except one thing, that is self integrity. Never compromise your self integrity.

Math section

Finally after a while distracted by lots of activities, I open the GMAT textbook again. Oh, and I just bought princeton review cracking the gmat 2009 edition. It’s really hard to find, and when I find it, it cost me really a lot (Rp 560.000). Probably again my timing is not right, the value of rupiah to US dollar is weak.

Right now, I am delving into math section of the GMAT after a while dealing with verbal section. I must say that verbal section is really tricky, and math section is a way trickier. For data sufficiency math section, I am bleeding. Not necessarily because I don’t figure out the answer, but mostly because of my carelessness. Since quant section should be my secret weapon dealing with this ( well, I previously thought that my math would be sufficient dealing with GMAT), having many answers incorrect really making me down.

Currently I am working on Official Guide quant section of data sufficiency. I am good at quant problem solving but quite bleeding on data sufficiency. Hopefully, I can figure out a way to handle this. Well, I just saying to myself that in order to get good score (thus, my $250 for the test would be worth it), I need to practice even more. More time, more diligent, more techniques.  After all, I am just an average Joe according to princeton review, so It will take quite some time before I reach to my target score.

kungfu panda

I just watching kungfu panda at KK cinema. I know, it’s rather bit late. The movie was released months ago, and yet I watch it just by now. The whole story is really nice, and also funny and full of silver lining. One thing I remember the most is when the Master Oogswatch said, ” Shifu, there is an old saying, yesterday is past, tomorrow is mystery and today is a gift. That’s why it’s called present”.

I always love the kind of movie like this. Entertaining, educating and at the same time giving a word of wisdom to audience.